Miriyummy — A Guide To The Perplexed

I talk about a lot of people in the blog, family, friends, even pets.  I don’t hang my dirty laundry out to dry.  Who in their right mind hangs out dirty laundry?  But if you want to know who all these wonderful people are, or if you are just confused, read on…

Miriyummy — A Guide To The Perplexed

Miriyummy — food obsessed, you could say I have a need to feed.  The child of Holocaust survivors, my mother used to say I was always trying to feed the six million.  My husband shakes his head in wonder and rolls his eyes in frustration at the vast amount of food I think will feed a family.  I’m most happy in the kitchen playing around with recipes, making them up or changing one around to give it that special, Miriyummy touch.  And if I can’t actually feed you, then let me share the recipe.

Ju-Boy — a self-proclaimed pretentious whisky snob and a wonderful and imaginative cook.  Best known for being able to take just half an onion and get a full supper on the table.  A blogger in his own write (to borrow a term from John Lennon), this is the man who makes me smile, hum, rant, vent and want to be a better person, or at least, a better cook.

Ju-Boy and I are Brady-bunching it, that is to say, we are both on Chapter Two of our lives, and have the blended family to prove it.  In age order:

Optimus Prime — Ju-Boy’s oldest son, university student, magician, the heir to the throne.  He has this thing about the Transformers, likes to collect the dolls (sorry, action figures) and sometimes lets his father play with them.  Optimus is married to…

The Rani — English import of Indian descent, a working mom and chocoholic.  Likes my desserts, so she’s okay.  Together with Optimus they are the parents of…

Crown Prince — a bottomless pit of a child, has been known to eat his weight in Bamba.  Has also been known to poo his weight in Bamba.  Now a pre-schooler, he has discovered the joy of watching his favorite movie over, and over, and over…

a-boy-stick-figureBrave-Boy — The latest addition to the family tree was born late October 2011.  He took his own time in being born, deciding an extra week incubating in The Rani would be a wise move considering the week before was Shy-Boy’s event-filled Bar Mitzvah week, and he didn’t want to steal his uncle’s thunder.  A most considerate baby, even in-utero.  He’s now into his Terrible Twos, showing us that he can be a naughty monkey one moment, balancing on top of the sofa, while charming you with his big blue eyes and gorgeous smile the next.

Sassy – Miriyummy’s eldest daughter, small enough to fit in your pocket.  A brilliant film editor by trade, she’s returned from a two year sojourn in London.  Having had enough of the British winter (362 days of the year, she claims), she and her hubby live on a kibbutz up north, a two minute walk from the beach, proving that you can go from the ridiculous to the sublime.  Sassy is married to…

Sabraman – our very own superhero, of Yemenite and Turkish descent, now studying industrial engineering at the Technion.  With Ju-Boy’s mentoring, he’s starting to build up a very nice collection of single malt whiskies on his own.  Together with Sassy they are the parents of the wonderful…

Bamba’s Baby’s Bequest

Peanut — the latest grand addition to the Miriyummy family.  He’s already an accomplished dancer and cook, and he’s just turned one this year!  With Sabraman for a father and Ju-Boy for a step-grandfather, he’s developed a taste for single malt whisky.

Nomush – Miriyummy’s second daughter, the wayfaring sister.  A former competitive swimmer, now studying hydrotherapy.  A vegetarian who hates vegetables.

Scarlet – Ju-boy’s second child and only daughter.  A brilliant pianist and future indie rock star.  Check out her original music here.  In addition to making her own sweet music, Scarlet has become a musical entrepreneur, with her own musical business website, Musikay.  Need a drummer for your garage band?  That’s where you’ll find one.  Is your lead singer in a carb-induced coma?  Get a new one on Musikay.  Scarlet is married to…

Sasquatch — born and bred on a kibbutz, Scarlet met her sweetie in Australia, traveled with him to India, and came home so they could both continue their education.  Very difficult to buy slippers for, they don’t seem to make them that big…

Tinky — Miriyummy’s third daughter, always with a smile on her face and a song in her heart, a hairdresser by trade, making the world more beautiful one person at a time.

Chip — Ju-Boy’s third in line, the boy has an affinity for Guinness ale, borrowing the car and creating complicated stir-fry dishes very late at night.  Single girls take note:  the boy washes up after himself after he cooks.  He cooks, he cleans up, a total Renaissance man…

Didi – Miriyummy’s youngest, born to shop, born to party.  At home in the kitchen, in the mall, constantly surrounded by friends, Didi is a defender of children and the neat freak of the family. Having completed her two years of National Service, she’s now taking a well-deserved rest at home, waitressing at a cafe for pocket money and studying for her university entrance exams.  She’s also the proud owner of a spanking new driver’s license.  Where she once used to ask, “Can you drive me to the mall?” her new favorite words are “Can I have the car?”  Thanks to her and to Chip, Ju-Boy and I are rediscovering the joys of being old folks at home.

Shy-Boy — used to be known as Hyper-Boy but upon his Bar Mitzvah has become a full-blown teenager and an addiction to reality television along with a collection of X-Box games has put a stop to any activity, hyper or otherwise.  What he lacks in movement he makes up with a capacity in saving the world from flesh-eating zombies.  Miriyummy’s sous-chef in the kitchen, always ready to make something with chocolate, or taste something with chocolate, or re-taste something with chocolate.

  1. Miriyummy-as a fake member of the brady bunch,the oldest child nobody really takes responsibility for,a once a week visitor once known as a human tornado,the guy who wizzes through the house top to bottom beginning always in this gifted cook/blogger’s kitchen ultimately in order to clean it from evidence of cooking and to prepare it for more…and on behalf of Dog-boy’s sidekick-the beautiful black Cola shepherd who joins his every adventure I must say I love this post.
    I took the time yesterday morning to read through all the posts I missed and update my imagination on preparing any or all of your deserts and dishes.
    I hope this post finally breaks my record!
    Oh,and guide to the perplexed.Done very well..gives you the feeling you understand who’s who but then again you don’t.
    Just like the original writer intended in his original text.

  2. I note that Shy-Boy is not claimed. Does this mean the lad was a foundling, or that he is a product of the team of Miriyummy and Ju-Boy in their combined efforts at “two-ness”? I merely ask for information…

    • Shy-Boy is a Ju-Boy production only. Although, considering the amount of times I have told him to clear away his stuff and to clean his room, I could get a few mom points here or there.

    • Could you imagine if we did have a kid together? Some children are born with silver spoons in their mouths, our poor kid would have to wrap his/her lips around a soup ladle…

  3. As usual, your blog is both entertaining and believable. Your Guide to the Perplexed should be listed in Ripley’s; I love it. (your blog, not Ripley’s) although I do love Ripley’s, but this time it is your blog which I love, with apologies to Ripley (RIP) Your turn next time.
    Thanks for continuing to entertain, enlighten, and educate.

  4. Judith ginsberg

    Mazel tov on the newest addition. October did seem like all we did was cook. I am newly observant and these 3 day holidays just about did me in. I so look forward to your blog updates. They make me smile. Off to try my new bread machine, mine gave up the ghost while I was making 9 loaves for the Yom Tovim and Shabbats.

    • Those three day holidays are killers! One of the benefits of moving to Israel is that only every now and again it happens to us, and just on Rosh Hashana.

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